How to reduce loneliness at Christmas

For many, Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year, filled with love and laughter, shared with their nearest and dearest.

But for those far away from friends and family, suffering a bereavement or living alone, it may be a time where you feel intense loneliness and sadness.

"What can make these feelings even more difficult is the expectation that this time of year should have everyone feeling grateful and merry,” says Bupa's Psychological Health and safety Leader Chanel Nesci. This can add to the pressure and feelings of isolation or loneliness.

Research by the Red Cross found that 31% of Aussies admit to feeling lonely during the holiday season, with men being more at risk than women.¹

"Seeing others with their families can be deeply painful for those spending the holidays alone or finding it difficult to feel truly connected to those around them," says Nesci.

Hearing about family plans other colleagues have over Christmas as work shuts down and the usual Monday to Friday routine stops can heighten feelings of isolation for those who are alone, potentially leading to symptoms of anxiety and depression.

"It's important we offer support and understanding of this wherever possible."

It's not just loneliness that can hit hard during the holidays, says Nesci.

Feeling stressed and overwhelmed by all the added responsibility and social gatherings can make it difficult to feel relaxed and joyful over the Christmas period.

"Juggling the demands of work, caring responsibilities, personal needs and preparation for the holiday season can prevent us from feeling really present."

Financial stress and the worry of being able to afford the gifts or contributions to family events others might expect can also lead to feelings of insecurity, sadness, guilt and shame.

Christmas, for most of us, is about being with those we love. But what about those who have lost a loved one?

"For those experiencing grief, holidays like Christmas can really highlight what we have and don't have," says Nesci. "Grief can feel overwhelming."

Nesci says other forms of grief, such as conflict between family or friends, a divorce or a serious health issue can have a similar negative impact on how we feel.

If you're lucky enough to be experiencing love, excitement, relaxation and joy this Christmas, Nesci says it's important to be aware of those around us who may not be feeling the same.

"Empathy, genuine connection and understanding can really make a difference to the people we know.

"As we spend time thinking of the perfect gift for our loved ones, also think about how they are feeling emotionally, and if the perfect ‘gift' may in fact be spending some quality time together," says Nesci. "Ask how they are, and actively listen to what they have to say either in person or via a video call."

If you know someone going through a hard time, Nesci says it's a good idea to simply ask what they need from you at this time of year and what might help them get through what you know is a difficult time for them.

"This level of acknowledgement and understanding can really help someone struggling to feel cared for and connected."

Where possible, spare a thought for older neighbours or colleagues whom you know live alone and don't have plans on special days.

Consider reaching out to simply check in on how they're doing or making plans for a coffee catch up over the holidays.

If you're struggling to cope during the holidays, there are support systems in place and things you can do to feel less lonely.

Tell someone how you're feeling. This might be a trusted person in your life, or if you find it easier talking to someone you don't know, you can reach out to a national help line or your GP. Trained mental health clinicians can provide you with support, guidance and advice.

Ask for help if you're feeling overwhelmed. This might be from your workplace, family, friends or children. Don't feel obliged to take on all the festive planning yourself.

Do what works for you. If you would prefer some time alone to reflect or grieve a difficult year, give yourself the time to do this.

Look for volunteering opportunities. If you want to give yourself the opportunity to participate in something that will bring you some relief from lonely feelings, why not help those in need? Look online or call your local council to find out whether there are any volunteering opportunities nearby.

Practice self-care. Whether it's a daily walk in nature, a long phone chat with a friend or simply watching your favourite old films, finding something that brings you joy is always good for overall mental health and feelings of wellbeing.

Go Volunteer lets you search for volunteering opportunities in your local area.

Beyond Blue offers 24/7 mental health information and support online and on the phone at 1300 224 636.

Kids Helpline is a free, 27/7 confidential counselling service that kids can call on 1800 55 1800.

Lifeline Australia offers 24/7 crisis support online and on the phone at 13 11 14.

The Suicide Call Back Service provides free, Australia-wide counselling for people affected by suicide, available online and on the phone at 1300 659 467.