5 guilt-free tips to saying ‘no’ this Christmas

‘Tis the season to be jolly, but unfortunately the pressure to keep everyone happy during the holidays can have the opposite effect for some people.

Saying ‘yes’ to everyone and everything might feel easier than saying ‘no’, but agreeing to too much can lead to stress, resentment and burnout.

After all, Christmas is a time that’s supposed to be fun for everyone, including you.

It’s said that saying yes to one thing often means saying no to another. That might mean spending less time with loved ones, taking less care of your mental health or sleeping less.

But how do you say no without feeling guilty? Here, we look at 5 simple ways to say no to the people and things that may overwhelm you during the festive season.

Often, saying no comes down to setting healthy boundaries and putting your needs first. It’s not selfish, it’s self-care.

Life is busy and time is precious. If you know you’re stretched thin leading up to the holidays, or you simply don’t feel up to committing to everything, there’s no need to create excuses. It’s okay to simply say no.

That said, it can help to have some complimentary phrases in your back pocket, in case ‘no’ isn’t enough for someone.

For example, if you’re declining an invitation, you might try one of the following:

• “Thank you, I would have loved to come but I already have plans that day.”
• “Thank you for the invite, but I can’t make it, my calendar is full.”
• “I really appreciate the invite, but I have a prior commitment on that date.”

Your prior commitment might just be cooking a family dinner, spending time with loved ones or going for a run. These are all completely valid.

Have you ever spent Christmas day travelling from one family event to another, trying to keep everyone happy, only to wind up exhausted and feeling like you’ve barely spoken to anyone?

Negotiating the holidays can be tricky, particularly where more than one extended family is involved. But it’s important to set boundaries around the day to ensure you have quality time with the people you love.

To solve this dilemma, some couples or families celebrate Christmas Eve with one side of the family and Christmas day with the other. You can even alternate the days annually, so each family gets a Christmas lunch with you every second year.

We’ve all felt the pressure to make Christmas perfect. Making a flawless pavlova from scratch, having a Pinterest-worthy food platter and, of course, purchasing the perfect presents.

It’s easy to obsess over getting everything right over the festive season, but when it comes down to it, what really makes the memories on the day?

Memories are made by spending time together playing backyard cricket, sneaking second desserts and laying on the couch as you nurse your food comas.

So, scale back, delegate and take advantage of those sneaky shortcuts (there’s nothing wrong with a pre-made pav). The holidays are about celebrating people, not things.

Christmas can place a lot of financial pressure on people. But you don’t need to wind up in debt to show people you care about them.

If present shopping is making you feel financially uneasy, you might suggest doing a Kris Kringle alternative with a spend limit this year, so no one feels obliged to go overboard. You might even suggest homemade-only or upcycled gifts.

It’s also completely valid to opt out of events, gift giving or traditions that are too expensive. A simple, “I’m sorry, that’s out of my price range” should always be enough. Those who care about you won’t want you to blow your budget on them.

Holiday traditions can be a beautiful thing. Until they’re not!

Baking homemade treats at midnight, supplying a household full of advent calendars and the much-dreaded Elf on the Shelf can all add stress to the holidays.

If your Christmas traditions add more strain than joy, it may be time to Marie Kondo your festive routine. In other words, minimise.

That might mean using a fake tree instead of a real one, scaling back on festive baking or giving the Elf on the Shelf a well-deserved vacation.

If you miss it, you can always add the tradition back next year. If you don’t, perhaps it creates space for new traditions that everyone can enjoy.