Stacy decided to freeze her eggs. Here’s everything that happened

When Stacy met her husband, Brian, she was 35. Although they both knew they wanted to have children, they weren’t ready to become parents after just a few months of dating.

So, they came up with a solution.

They decided to freeze Stacy’s eggs, as an insurance policy. What they didn’t expect, however, was how difficult the process would be. And how disappointing.

“We thought we would be clever and go and get some eggs frozen,” says Stacy. “My specialist was quite optimistic.

“It’s still hard to get our heads around the fact we wound up with no eggs at the end of the process.”

Here’s what that process looked like.

“I asked my specialist for advice on whether I should freeze my eggs, or if we should fertilise the eggs and freeze embryos,” says Stacy. They decided to freeze embryos.

After a blood test revealed good hormone levels, Stacy started a series of daily at-home injections.

“I had needles in my tummy at the same time every morning for 10 days,” she says. “I was lucky because while I felt a bit bloated, I didn’t feel sick or emotional. I’ve had friends who had nausea, vomiting or have been really emotional.”

Over those 10 days, Stacy had 2 scans to determine the number and size of follicles. The scans revealed 12 eggs, which is a good number for her age.

Her specialist then gave her a trigger shot, which Stacy administered precisely 36 hours before the egg retrieval procedure.

“It has to be done at exactly the right time,” says Stacy. “We got a text with the time I needed to do it.”

“For us, this was the most stressful part. One of the needles was quite flimsy, and Brian was struggling to get it in. It was really anxiety provoking because it was a Sunday night. There’s no one to help you.”

The egg retrieval procedure took around 15 to 20 minutes and was performed under general anaesthetic.

When Stacy woke up, she immediately looked at the back of her left hand, where her specialist had written the number 12. The number of eggs successfully retrieved. She was in the recovery room with several other women, each one having had the same procedure.

“You can hear people talking about how many eggs they've gotten, or sometimes you can hear the nurse talking about it, and it can be quite a sad experience,” says Stacy.

“We had a couple next to us who got 16 eggs,” she adds, “[while] on the other side there was a woman who got one. It's hard not to compare your journey.”

That afternoon, 6 of Stacy’s eggs were fertilised with Brian’s sperm. The other half didn’t survive.

“I think it’s quite normal for only 50% to survive,” Stacy says. “But at the time, it was quite a shock, because I didn't really know the process and no one told us that might happen. It was really hard to hear that only half of them had made it.”

For the next few days, the clinic called Stacy every day to update her on whether the fertilised eggs had developed enough cells to become a blastocyst, a rapidly dividing ball of cells which will eventually form an embryo.

“I remember each day they'd say, ‘this one died’” says Stacy.

By day 5, none of the eggs had survived.

“I know it's not the same as losing a baby, but it’s what the embryo represents for you. It's your chance of having a baby, and losing that is devastating.”

Stacy and Brian’s experience took a huge mental, emotional and financial toll on them.

“We went in blindly,” says Stacy. “It’s definitely more involved than I thought. I didn’t realise how devastating that 5 day wait to see if the embryos will develop would be. I really wasn’t emotionally prepared for that.”

Stacy admits she’s questioned why she didn’t freeze her eggs when she was younger, but now realises there’s no point beating herself up about it.

“It may not have made a difference,” she says. “Who is to say when I was in my early 20s I wouldn't have had this issue as well?”

Stacy encourages anyone considering egg freezing to go into it with their eyes open.

“Yes, do all the tests,” she says. “Do an AMH test [anti-müllerian hormone test] to check your ovarian reserve. But manage expectations, as it’s not a guarantee. My ovarian reserve is quite high, but until you get your eggs out, you don't really know what the quality is like.”

“It’s one of the reasons we were so devastated, as we were told it was going to be an easy round. Then it all fell to pieces very quickly.”

While the road hasn’t been easy, Stacy and Brian’s dream of becoming parents isn’t over. The couple are in the early stages of pregnancy after 7 rounds of IVF.

“We’re just trying to enjoy one day at a time and focus on the positives,” Stacy says.