Gender pronouns: What they are and why they matter

[Kathleen Ebbs sits with a window and brick wall behind her]

Kathleen: Hi, my name is Kathleen Ebbs. My pronouns are they/she and I am partnering with Bupa today to talk about pronouns.

I would like to acknowledge the Wurundjeri people, the traditional custodians of this land in which this series is being filmed and pay my respects to elders both past and present. Always was, always will be Aboriginal land.

[Text on screen: What are pronouns?]

Pronouns are used to describe an individual or group when not using their name. Pronouns like he, she and they refer to the people you're specifically talking about.

[Text on screen: Why are they important?]

Pronouns are important as they help us identify someone. You cannot always tell someone's pronouns on face value, which is why it's really important to ask so we can make sure that we're respecting all gender identities.

Gender neutral pronouns such as they/them are used to describe someone that is either gender diverse or non-binary or genderqueer.

[Text on screen: What is cisgender?]

Cisgender is when you identify with the gender you were assigned with at birth. So, for example, if you were assigned female at birth and you still identify as a female, you are cisgender.

[Text on screen: What is transgender?]

Transgender is when you do not identify with the gender you were assigned with at birth. So if you were assigned female at birth, but you do not identify with being a female, then you are transgender.

[Text on screen: What’s the difference between sex and gender?]

The difference between sex and gender is that sex refers to the biological anatomy so, for example, what genitalia you have, what hormones you acquire, and gender is the way that you feel inside, the way that you choose to express yourself. They are completely different things. Sex is your body's makeup. Gender is the way that you feel about yourself.

[Text on screen: Why is it important to use the correct pronouns?]

Using the correct pronouns for someone is so important as it helps affirm their gender identity. This is especially crucial for gender diverse and trans folk as that journey has not always, is not always an easy one so something as simple as changing your language can have massive effects on gender diverse folk.

I always say that misgendering someone on purpose is an act of violence, so change your language. Use someone's correct pronouns because it can have massive positive effects for that person and it's really easy to do.

[Text on screen: What if I don’t know someone’s pronouns?]

If you are unsure of someone's pronouns because they haven't told you or you haven't been told, just simply ask. It's not rude, it's actually super respectful.

Also, never assume someone's pronouns. Everyone expresses their gender differently, whether that be just a personal preference or a safety issue. So never ever assume someone's pronouns based on face value.

It's always important just to ask.

[Text on screen: How can I be a better ally?]

To be a better ally to the trans, nonbinary, and gender diverse community, educate yourself.

Listen, learn, educate others that might not know, as well as smaller things, like I said before, asking people's pronouns, stating your own pronouns, never assuming someone's gender.

I think too, it's really important for cisgender people to normalise those conversations or normalise stating their pronouns, signing off on their pronouns, because the more that everyone does those sort of things, the more normal it becomes, and the lesser onus is on gender diverse people to do the hard work.