Harnessing her adult ADHD superpower

When most people think of ‘attention deficit hyperactivity disorder’ (ADHD), they usually think of children. But, in some cases, ADHD is not recognised or diagnosed until a person is an adult.

This was the case for Metz. As a child, she was a good student, but also one who’d stare out the window daydreaming, sliding under the radar year after year.

It wasn’t until Metz was 34 and struggling to complete simple tasks, nor advance in her career, that she was diagnosed with ADHD.

About 1 in 20 Australians live with ADHD, and 75% of children continue to experience symptoms into adulthood.¹

With the right treatment and management, Metz is now happier, healthier and no longer just reaching her goals, but achieving things she never imagined possible. A Senior Manager for International Strategy at Bupa, she now sees her “12-lane highway brain” as a superpower.

At school, Metz was well-behaved. She excelled at the subjects she liked, but was easily bored in other classes.

“My report card was littered with: ‘Metz would be a much better student if she wasn't so easily distracted’, or ‘Metz is a wonderful student with an active imagination but needs to focus on being less of a disruption with her chatter’," she reveals.

While everyone is different, there are 3 main types of ADHD:

• the predominantly inattentive type
• the predominantly hyperactive/impulsive type
• a combined type.²

Statistics show that boys are more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD than girls.³ Boys also tend to externalise their symptoms and may be physically impulsive. Girls, on the other hand, often internalise their ADHD symptoms, putting them at risk of anxiety, depression or eating disorders.⁴

“For a lot of women, it doesn't start to manifest in ways that are noticeable until you're hitting high school, university and adult life,” says Metz.

By that stage, ADHD is harder to diagnose as symptoms are similar to, or present alongside, conditions like depression and anxiety. This can lead to a misdiagnosis.

“And that’s what happened to me,” says Metz.

With her ADHD undiagnosed and untreated, Metz’s therapy and anti-depressant medication were, unsurprisingly, ineffective.

“I was taking this pill every day and doing the work at therapy and I was still stressed, still anxious and still felt like utter trash,” she says. “I felt stupid and worthless. I couldn't explain why I just couldn't engage myself to stick to routines, to manage my time properly.”

“I’d tell my wife, ‘I’ll be ready in 5 minutes’ and 3 hours later I still wouldn’t be ready to go out.”

Despite all the work Metz was doing, she had problems with her short-term memory and executive function (the ability to focus, follow directions and manage emotions). These issues were affecting every area of her life.

Metz started to wonder if her problems were linked to something else entirely. As it turned out, her sixth sense was right.

“I was in session with my psychologist and I made the joke, ‘What if this turned out to be ADHD or something?’ And the psychologist looked at me, looked down at the notes and said, ‘Have you ever actually looked into that?’,” says Metz.

Metz started her diagnostic journey in 2016, but she struggled to find someone who specialised in adult ADHD. Then, in late 2019, she connected with a psychologist who had completed a PhD on the very subject.

Metz and her wife took some self-assessment tests. Working through the ‘one-to-3’ tick boxes, Metz was thinking to herself: “Surely I'm not that bad?”

“Then I'd glance across at my darling wife to find her either aggressively scribbling in the 3 boxes or muttering, ‘Why isn't there a number 4’," Metz jokes.

After 34 years of living with untreated ADHD, Metz finally saw a specialist who confirmed her diagnosis in less than 15 minutes.

“He rattled through the questions and at one point interrupted himself saying, ‘This is only a formality, you've definitely got it’,” she says.

The doctor also told Metz:

“I've read the reports, I've read your history and even talking with you every time a truck goes past the window your attention goes to it and you forget what you're saying mid-sentence.”

She was medicated that day.

Metz walked out of that appointment with a diagnosis and better understanding of her ADHD symptoms.

She expected the medication to be a long road, like her anti-depressants were, with a scary list of side effects. But that wasn’t her experience.

“I took the medication then just went about my day,” she says. “I thought, ‘I've got to take the garbage out’ and then just went and did it. When I came back inside, I thought ‘I’ll have a shower, but I should clean the bathroom before I do that’. And I did.”

“Then I went to the kitchen to just tidy up some dishes and put them away because I saw them, and then I burst into tears and my wife came running out going, ‘Oh my God, what's going on?’

“Sobbing through tears and emotions I said, ‘I took the garbage out’, and she kind of sat there and went, ‘Okay, that's good, but why is that an emotional thing?’”

For Metz, this small victory symbolised a great triumph.

“I thought about something that I had to do, and I just did it,” she says. “I didn’t have to fight through the constant brain fog.”

While medication made a significant difference to managing her ADHD, it was only one part of Metz’s treatment.

“The medication creates the pathways for you to be able to focus and then do the work,” she says. “I work with my psychologist on cognitive behaviour therapies to help me with things like executive dysfunction and time management, which I still struggle with.”

Metz’s diagnosis has turned her life around in almost every way.

“I've got savings for the first time in my life because I'm not looking at my account like it's burning a hole in my pocket,” she says. “I remembered my aunt's birthday for the first time and sent her a card and present, and I've lost enough weight now that I no longer have any central obstructive sleep apnoea.”

Her relationships and communication with friends and loved ones has improved, too.

“People say, ‘I don't mean for this to sound terrible, but you sound like a different person’,” says Metz. “‘Like you're more put together, like your thoughts aren't constantly scattered’.”

Professionally, Metz says she’s moved on from roles that didn’t challenge her or her ADHD.

“Bupa is the longest job I've ever had now because I’ve moved into new areas that I never would have been able to without my diagnosis.”

“I now have a better understanding of the way that my brain operates. I was always a bigger picture person. My manager at the time said: ‘I'm employing you to get you out of the contact centre because I don't think this is where you belong and where your strengths lie’.”

Metz was promoted again and again. She was given autonomy and immersed herself in engaging work, where she continues to thrive.

“Someone said, ‘I've been told your brain works like a 12-lane highway, but I've never seen it in action before, it's terrifying’,” Metz recalls. “I think that the medicated ADHD brain, and those that are able to manage it, can become your superpower.”

“My new boss in my current role has seen me have a quiet cry a few times since I entered the team, because I'm so used to having my ‘galaxy brain’ treated like a nuisance, a frustration. To be told to ‘stay in my lane’,” Metz adds.

Metz says it was a shock the first time she sent her boss an email and received a reply with positive encouragement.

“What a difference it made for [my boss] to know I have ADHD. Instead of treating me with kid gloves or trying to shame me, she supports me, she sees it for the gift that it is and ensures that my 12-lane-highway brain is enabled.”