Adult ADHD: The second opinion that changed my life

I was in my early 20s when I woke up one day and couldn’t stop crying. My relationship had just broken down, and it had a huge impact on me.

I had a great GP, so I went to see him straight away. He encouraged me to see a counsellor and talk about how I was feeling, and he also put me on anti-depressants that day.

The medication made me feel sad. I didn’t like the thought that I needed help to cope with everyday life. I also felt ashamed. Back then, mental health was still a taboo topic, and while I told my parents about my journey, I hid it from my friends

The medication didn’t work, and I spent years trying different types. Eventually, I saw a psychiatrist, who diagnosed me with bipolar II disorder, a condition that involves depressive and hypomanic episodes.

But something about that didn’t feel right. I started doing my own research and, although I had some of the symptoms (like anxiety), I didn’t feel like I fit the brief for bipolar II.

My psychiatrist refused to listen, though, and I didn’t feel like I had the right to disagree. I eventually stopped seeing him.

One day, a friend described her ADHD symptoms to me. It all felt very familiar and more like me than anything else I’d been told by my doctors. Our stories were so similar, so I decided to look into it.

After some tests, I was diagnosed with ADHD and put on a different medication. It changed everything.

ADHD (Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder) is a condition that impacts the way a person thinks and functions. Some of the more common traits associated with the disorder include difficulty following instructions, being prone to forget things or miss appointments and a tendency to talk excessively or interrupt others.

While there are common traits, every person with ADHD experiences their own symptoms, which can be very different from others.

Once diagnosed, I realised that some of my ADHD traits are challenges while others are actually strengths. I have a terrible memory, and I find it hard to focus. But I’m also spontaneous, up for any challenge and, after procrastinating, I can hyper-focus and get a lot of tasks done at the last minute.

Before my ADHD diagnosis, I always had a gym membership but rarely went. Now, I’m often up at 5:30am for a spin class, and I’m fitter than ever. I’ve even found an incredible group of women at the gym. The camaraderie and support has been the best thing about it.

People used to say, ‘it takes a village,’ but I never knew what they meant until I finally found mine.

Exercise also helps me sleep, which is an essential part of my mental wellbeing. If I don’t sleep well, I feel anxious.

One of the biggest changes I’ve made is ditching smoking and drinking. Before I had children, I would drink regularly. I noticed that when I drank, I would be short-tempered the next day. It made everything harder, and stopping has helped me regulate my moods. My partner has also stopped drinking, and we’ve both seen a real improvement in the quality of our lives.

I’m in a much better place now than I was 5 years ago. I take my kids swimming twice a week, I exercise, and I put a lot more effort into self-care. That means seeing my friends and taking care of myself. I get my nails and hair done now, which I never used to, and it makes me feel as good on the inside as the outside. I’m more confident now.

I’ve also undertaken a degree in counselling. Educating myself about mental health and how a previous trauma or experience can impact the way a person feels has helped me understand more about my own experiences.

Life isn’t perfect, and there are always going to be stresses. I know that to manage those stresses, I definitely can’t drop the ball on my mental health. I need to take my medication and make sure I’m sleeping and exercising.

I’m on a good journey, and I’ve become my own mental health warrior.

If you think you might need some help with your mental health, my advice is to find someone to talk to, whether a GP, counsellor, psychologist or someone else. I also recommend doing your own research. Mental health is unique to everyone, and you need to find what works for you.

Kate’s real name has been changed for privacy reasons.

This personal story is not intended to represent that the individual has used or endorses any specific health practitioner or program. Everyone’s health journey is individual, and health outcomes can vary from person to person.

This article is not a replacement for personalised and specific medical, healthcare or other professional advice. If you have any concerns about your health, see your doctor or another health professional.